Have you ever asked yourself what happens if the teacher becomes the bully? What happens to kids who are bullied in the classroom, or the school environment? But then again, aside the kids who are bullied, what happens to the kids who witness, or are exposed to the bullying? They may be on the sideline (spectators), but this time, rather than being sporting spectators, they are witnessing one or more of their classmates, or school mates being bullied.
As you reflect on the scenario, think about it in what ever form: moderately, mildly, or harshly, but take the time to mull over such situations, because many parents and advocates are beginning to ask “Is bullying and attacking children a sign of the Times.” So I urge you to think about this; become practical in your thoughts, if necessary; jot down your thoughts. You may decide to take a piece of paper, draw two columns. In one column marked: Kids Bullied, jot down what comes to mind. Let your mind roll; think about issues ranging from mental, physical, emotional and spiritual issues that may arise as a result of bullying. In the second column marked Kids Who Witnessed Bullying, write down what comes to mind. Let your mind spin on the subject, and write down everything that comes to mind on the subject. Remember to jot down your thoughts freely; it’s not the time to edit what comes to your mind. Later, you can edit what you have written on the paper, and maybe shift ideas from one column to the next.
As you reflect on the issue of bullying in the school environment, I want to remind you that there are schools who have drafted strong policies against bullying. While some of the policies are effectively implemented in some areas, others have either been lackadaisical in implementing the strongly worded policies, or they simply put the policies on their shelves. However, there are other schools who have not or basically not taken any strong measures against bully. Some of these schools that have not taken a formal approach against bully may simply believe that it is general knowledge that bullying is prohibited, and not because they tolerate bullying.
We have read a lot about bullying, we have seen a lot and probably witnessed some bullying as we moved around school environments and the community. In the newspapers, we’ve read about students committing suicide because of being continually bullied. We have read about students dropping out of school because they were continually bullied, and we have seen students interest in school wear away, and their interest in learning diminished. Most recently, in February 2011, we read and heard the story of a first grade teacher in Montgomery County who was arrested on charges that she assaulted nine of her students at Greencastle Elementary School in the Briggs Chaney region of Silver Spring. The story was aired on the local media, and published in several newspapers.
The Gazette newspaper wrote "Susan Lee Burke, a first-grade teacher who has worked with Montgomery County Public Schools since 2001, choked, kicked, punched and scratched students in her class from Dec. 1 through Dec. 31, said Montgomery County Police spokesman Capt. Paul Starks. All the students were between 6- and 7-years-old, and Burke has been charged with nine counts of second-degree assault.”
As I followed the unfolding of the story, I was horrified that some parents didn’t listen to their kids who had claimed they were chocked, punched, and kicked by the same teacher. One mother said, her daughter had informed her about being abused by her teacher. The daughter said, “I told Mommy, but she didn’t believe me.’ And the mother said, ‘I thought my daughter was exaggerating.” Of course, we understand that our kids are just kids, and sometimes they tend to exaggerate, but as parent, it is important to understand, and listen to our kids. Moreover, we must learn to monitor our kids- are there changes in my child’s behavior today? What is my child doing this week that appears out of place? Does my child appear frustrated, and upset? Is my child speaking to me? Am I listening? Is my child afraid to speak to me about something? Is there a topic my child seems (openly, or wordlessly) touchy about? Is there a teacher my child is refusing to talk about? Coax, but don’t push your child to speak about something you think is important.
When I listened to stories about bullying by teachers, I wonder whether the parents did not see the warning signs, or they simply refused to see the warning signs. How did they miss the signs? Or, did parents expressed concerns to administration, but the concerns were treated lightly?
Research shows that bullying can mess up a kid's future. Young people who bully are more likely than those who don't bully to skip school and drop out of school. They are also more likely to smoke, drink alcohol and get into fights (Nansel et al, 2003; Olweus, 1993). For kids who watch bullying, they are being exposed to a form of violence. They may also see bullying as acceptable, and also begin to bully the kid(s) being bullied.
Bullying can also scare some people so much that they skip school. As many as 160,000 students may stay home on any given day because they're afraid of being bullied (Pollack, 1998). Bullied can result to physical, emotional and psychological problems. In a most recent case, The family of a Howard County student has filed a $10 million federal lawsuit against several officials in the school system, alleging that administrators failed to protect the student from bullying that led to his suffering from symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. The lawsuit againt the Howard County school system is just one of many in the United States.
The UK Workplace Bullying Advice Online, in an article, “Bullying in schools,” states: “Bullying is the general term applied to a pattern of behaviour whereby one person with a lot of internal anger, resentment and aggression and lacking interpersonal skills chooses to displace their aggression onto another person, chosen for their vulnerability with respect to the bully, using tactics of constant criticism, nit-picking, exclusion, isolation, teasing etc with verbal, psychological, emotional and (especially with children) physical violence.”
After reading the above definition of Bullying provided by the UK Workplace, it is easy to see that bullies are careful in identifying their prey. They search for people who are vulnerable. In the case of teachers, as adults, the students are easy preys. Take an example of an elementary school teacher in a program my son attends. This teacher, in the past demonstrated aggression and resentment, and has continued to show lack of interpersonal skills. The teacher, Ms. KR chooses to displace her aggression onto her students, including my son, a first grader. Any attempt to speak with Ms. KR appears impossible, not only is she defensive, but her aggression and internal resentments become evident by her boisterousness, and what appears to be her readiness to use her claws on anyone who dares question her actions against selected students. Ms. KR demonstrated the same aggressive and boisterous approach when I met with her, in the presence of another parent on March 7th to inquired why she “kept my son in time out” for his "entire" recess period on Friday, March 4th, and what occured during that period that resulted to my son's frustration- a frustration that he demonstrated throughout Friday's evening and throughout the night. In her response, Ms. KR was not only defiant, but also inconsistent, loud and rowdy. Eventhough this was not Ms. KR first harssment of my son, she said she did not know my son, and therefore who I was inquiring about. Later, she said, she doesn’t remember whether on March 4th my son was set aside on the play ground during recess. But again later, she acknowledged that she put my son in time out, but said it was for "five minutes.” She added that whilst my son was in the school, she had the right to put my son in time out for recess, and do whatever she wanted. At this time, Ms. KR had gotten into my face, and speaking in a loud unruly tone challenged me to question her authority as a teacher in the school. This incident took place in the corridors of the school, directly in front of the main office, and within the hearing of staff and administrators. The following day, my son again came home, crying that Ms. KR had screamed at him, and kept him in the cafeteria for his entire recess period.
What was bothersome about March 4th situation was the manner my son behaved from the moment I picked him up, and throughout the night. When I picked up my son, he bursted into tears, and in between sobs said that Ms. KR was angry, and she had shouted at him, "Michael sit down," while the other kids played during the entire recess period. When I tried to inquire from my son further, he kept crying, "Mommy please hug me. Mommy you love me." The crying and sobbing continued, as we went through dinner, and bathtime. While in bed, the sobbing intensified, with my son calling out Ms. KR's name intermittently. In the middle of the night, my son jumped up crying, and then sobbing. This went on till morning. This frustration, and restlessness from March 4th experience bothered me, and I couldn't help but wonder what really occured that day, and what was Ms. KR's role in my son's life that frightened and frustrated him.
Imagine such teachers as Ms. KR, and Ms Lee Burke. They are not alone; there are many of such teachers, and school staff who tower above their students. For those students favored by these teachers, they are likely free of her bullying, but the unfortunate students, including my son, who are being picked on until steps are taken to curtail the situation. One can only imagine teachers who bully, including Ms KR who towers above students like a nine feet, nine inch tall giant, and snarling at the first graders like the main contender at a boxing match as she screams at the helpless students who are at her mercy. One can't help, but wonder, are other teachers and staff watching? Are there parents who witness such brutish acts carried out by Ms. KR, and feel that because it doesn’t affect their own kids, it therefore doesn’t matter? Well, for parents who feel that because their kids are not affected, that means they can turn a blind eye, they must be reminded their kids are also affected, probably indirectly. Moreover, today it may be other kids, including mine, or another person's, but tomorrow it will be their kids; maybe not at the hands of Ms. KR, but another person. And during such situations, parent and teacher who may be turning a blind eye must remember that, for every kid they stand up for today, they will be protecting their own kids for tomorrow.
If teachers the likes of Ms. KR can scoff at parents and get by, one can only imagine the treatment little children assigned in the care of Ms. KR face. She scoffs at the kids, and probably calls them names, and finds means to punish kids whose parents question her for bullying and marginalizing their children.
My first interaction with Ms. KR left me wondering about those who get into the teaching profession. On that fateful day, I realized that Ms. KR had enrolled my son in English as a Second Language Program without my prior knowledge, even though my son was clearly not a candidate for the program. When I tried informing Ms. KR that my son was not a candidate for the program, she insisted that even though my son was born in the USA, and English was a first language in our home, I (the parent) “do not speak good English.” In another incident involving Ms. KR few weeks later, Ms KR grabbed my son by his arm and shoved him in an office. This incident occurred in my presence and the presence of a staff and each of these incidents were documented individually and reported to the head of the program. There was also another incident involving Ms. KR after the shoving of my son.
In all of these incidents, I was taken aback by Ms KR’s aggressiveness and began asking myself how does such a person who completely brushes aside education policies, and drafts their own rules and lacks respect and regard for parents do get into the teaching profession? If persons such as Ms. KR can dismiss a parent in their presence, what happens to children in her care when there is no other adult present? How do such teachers like Lee Burke and Ms. KR cover their track within a school environment for so long?
It is possible that other parents and students have had some negative experiences with Ms KR, as was the case in teacher Lee Burke, but the school administration turned a blind eye to the incidents?
As I close this post, I want to ask, “Do you believe that I am sitting and watching idly as my son is being bullied, and allowing Ms. KR to feels she is above reprimand? If you think so, think twice?
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